Tag: break free

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Turning Your Adversity Into Purpose

Adversity to Purpose

A man once said and I quote, “Tough times never last but tough people do.” (Robert H Schuller, 1984). Life is full of curves and turns; some curves can throw you into an eternal ditch while others can bounce you off the way. Understanding how to navigate curves and turns in life is very crucial. 

Adversities are turns and curves which we have to navigate with wisdom. Some situations hit you like a tornado that occurs without prior notice. How do you handle them when they come?

I lost my mother suddenly at the age of 23, one week she was alive and the next week she was gone. I remember my last physical encounter with her in her conscious state, I was working out of town during my National Youth Service Corp year (a mandatory service to the nation after college). I would come home every Thursday and leave for my base on Sunday. This particular Sunday before leaving, my mom asked me to stand in front of her and she poured out her heart in blessings to me, her prayers were unusually long that day. She had never done that before, although she was a praying woman, that occurrence was very unusual; that week she went into a coma. 

As the oldest child, I had no time to grieve, I had 3 younger siblings – one young adult and two teenagers – to care for and I swung into action. I became a parent to young adults as a young adult myself. The journey was hard and tough but with God on our side, we navigated several curves and bounced back from many knock downs. 

Adversities and setbacks help us to rethink and strategize. Pit times are not party times but they are learning times. There is always a way out, your determination, resilience, and will to live and succeed will give you the strength to always come out of every pit. While in the pit, master the pit and discover the escape routes; someone somewhere will need it.

The best counselors are the ones who have been deeply wounded and have received healing through the hands of the Savior. Because they have been there, they will give you the tips and teach you how to walk through the curves and turns of life.  

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

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What Are Your Limiting Beliefs?

What are your limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs are beliefs that are self-deprecating. They are thoughts that 10 out of the 12
spies had when they went into Canaan to spy the land. The giants looked bigger to the 10 spies
than the God who parted the Red Sea and brought the Hebrews out of Egypt, the giants of
Canaan looked bigger than the God who provided them with Manna, Spring Water and Meat in
the wilderness.

beliefs can be self-deprecating


Sometimes, limiting beliefs come as a response to past traumatic experiences. It you’ve had to
fight hard to achieve various milestones in your life or you’ve had to deal with obstacles and
challenges that have paralyzed your faith, you might begin to have beliefs that are limiting. The
Fear of Failure is a limiting belief. For several years in an abusive marriage, I was told how much
of a failure I was and how worthless I was because I didn’t bring in much income as a Pastor. In
my sub-consciousness, I began to see myself as a failure and had to fight the voice in my head
that kept telling me how much of a failure I was no matter how much I tried. The fear of failure
crippled me. I published books, developed courses and was gifted in many areas, highly
cerebral, intellectual and Spirit-filled, but the fear of failure kept me bound. I learnt to conquer
those destructive limiting thoughts with the Word of God. I do speak life over myself and
constantly replace the negative thoughts with God’s thoughts about me.


Another limiting belief is Perfectionism. Perfectionism is an obsession with flawlessness and
perfection. It is always concerned with what people will think. Perfectionism comes with critical
self-evaluations, self-doubt, unrealistic expectations and excessive concern with mistakes and
errors. Perfectionism wants to prove a point to others. Yes, we are called to excellence, and,
excellence allows for imperfections and mistakes. Excellence is concerned about the process
and the lessons learnt on the journey while perfectionism is concerned about the outcome
which has to be flawless. Many perfectionists suffer from anxiety.


Give yourself grace, you are not out to please man but God and God sees you where you are.
Do not be afraid to fail; failure is not when you get it wrong, failure is when you quit and refuse
to be all that God has called you to be. Do not allow your beliefs to limit you. God has more for
you and you need to trust His process.

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Healing from My Daddy Hurts

daddy hurts

I was a wounded soul and I didn’t know it. I thought I was fine although I had encountered a lot
of traumatic situations, but because I was raised in a Christian home and committed my life to
Jesus early in life, I thought I was okay. I filled the vacuum in my soul with religious activities but
not with Jesus Himself.

I knew I had a distant relationship with my dad, although he was very generous towards me and spoilt me with a lot of luxurious gifts and money, I did not like him. I just couldn’t relate to him. I somewhat resented him. Due to my quiet nature, that feeling was masked but deep down on his inside, he knew I didn’t like him because I always avoided him.

One day I wrote him a letter and told him how much I resented him. Although I took care of him
at his old age and had pity on him but I did not love him, I did my duty as a child to her aged
parent and that was it.

Then the day came for me to be healed in 2014; the Holy Spirit showed me a vision of an event
that occurred 7 weeks before my 4th birthday. I saw my dad assault my mom who was heavily
pregnant. She fell on her huge stomach and disappeared for some weeks. (She later came back
home with my baby brother) That was too graphic for my young mind and traumatic for my
innocent soul. My soul was wounded, and choked, a stronghold was formed in the mind. I
became scared of my father and felt uncomfortable around men. My dad yelled a lot whenever
he was upset, and that frightened me the more. I suffered some physical and verbal abuse from
him when I was a little girl because he had an anger problem. I developed separation
anxiety as a child and became insecure, very shy and had a poor self-image.

Then in 2014 at the age of 45, I received healing from my daddy wound and the Holy Spirit poured His love into my heart and a love for my dad. I felt the water of the Holy Spirit wash my soul and I was free. I saw a day vision of myself back in a garden as a little girl in a flowery dress running around with butterflies, and laughing very hard, and a young handsome man who happened to be my dad, playing with me and the joy was wholesome. Although my dad had gone to be with the Lord 2 years prior to the time, I felt him smile at me and I longed to be hugged by him.

At that healing meeting, an elderly minister probably in his 70s walked over to me and gave me a daddy hug. Oh! how I wept in his arms and felt the overwhelming presence of the Holy Spirit and the unconditional love of God. Today, I remember my dad with a lot of love and admiration. I remember that in his broken state he tried to love me the way he knew but he was limited because he was broken by his own daddy hurts. I remember the moments he spoke words of affirmation over my life, how he always wanted to give me the best of everything; how he promised to will a huge portion of his inheritance to me (that’s another story for another day), and how he prayed for me in his later years.

“He restored my soul…” (Psalm 23:3).