I was a wounded soul and I didn’t know it. I thought I was fine although I had encountered a lot
of traumatic situations, but because I was raised in a Christian home and committed my life to
Jesus early in life, I thought I was okay. I filled the vacuum in my soul with religious activities but
not with Jesus Himself.
I knew I had a distant relationship with my dad, although he was very generous towards me and spoilt me with a lot of luxurious gifts and money, I did not like him. I just couldn’t relate to him. I somewhat resented him. Due to my quiet nature, that feeling was masked but deep down on his inside, he knew I didn’t like him because I always avoided him.
One day I wrote him a letter and told him how much I resented him. Although I took care of him
at his old age and had pity on him but I did not love him, I did my duty as a child to her aged
parent and that was it.
Then the day came for me to be healed in 2014; the Holy Spirit showed me a vision of an event
that occurred 7 weeks before my 4th birthday. I saw my dad assault my mom who was heavily
pregnant. She fell on her huge stomach and disappeared for some weeks. (She later came back
home with my baby brother) That was too graphic for my young mind and traumatic for my
innocent soul. My soul was wounded, and choked, a stronghold was formed in the mind. I
became scared of my father and felt uncomfortable around men. My dad yelled a lot whenever
he was upset, and that frightened me the more. I suffered some physical and verbal abuse from
him when I was a little girl because he had an anger problem. I developed separation
anxiety as a child and became insecure, very shy and had a poor self-image.
Then in 2014 at the age of 45, I received healing from my daddy wound and the Holy Spirit poured His love into my heart and a love for my dad. I felt the water of the Holy Spirit wash my soul and I was free. I saw a day vision of myself back in a garden as a little girl in a flowery dress running around with butterflies, and laughing very hard, and a young handsome man who happened to be my dad, playing with me and the joy was wholesome. Although my dad had gone to be with the Lord 2 years prior to the time, I felt him smile at me and I longed to be hugged by him.
At that healing meeting, an elderly minister probably in his 70s walked over to me and gave me a daddy hug. Oh! how I wept in his arms and felt the overwhelming presence of the Holy Spirit and the unconditional love of God. Today, I remember my dad with a lot of love and admiration. I remember that in his broken state he tried to love me the way he knew but he was limited because he was broken by his own daddy hurts. I remember the moments he spoke words of affirmation over my life, how he always wanted to give me the best of everything; how he promised to will a huge portion of his inheritance to me (that’s another story for another day), and how he prayed for me in his later years.
“He restored my soul…” (Psalm 23:3).